The Art of Grandparenting No. 2: Making Memories for Grandchildren

When an individual enters the role of grandparent, he or she often becomes a bridge to past generations for a grandchild. Such things as historical events, natural disasters, family triumphs and tragedies, and personal memories may get passed down to grandchildren.

Key roles grandparents occupy in family life can include being a family historian and acting as a mentor to younger generations. Stories, pictures, documents, recordings, home movies or videos all hold great value in linking to the past.

As a grandparent or step-grandparent, consider how you might connect a grandchild with the past, preserve and pass on family memories and history, and make positive and lasting memories together in the present.

One important family function that grandparents can promote in families is creating or passing on positive family memories. Reflect on any valued and positive memories that you may have experienced with your own grandparent, such as a shopping excursion, a camping trip or a meal together, or simply sharing a story with a grandparent. How can you facilitate such shared and positive memories with your own grandchildren?

Grandparents and stepgrandparents influence their grandchildren directly and indirectly. “Being there” for your grandchild can mean physically being present (direct) or emotionally being present (indirect).

When you make a phone call, attend an activity or go someplace together, you are influencing a grandchild directly. When a grandchild faces a challenging situation and thinks about you, knowing you are there to give support and be on his or her side, you are extending indirect influence by being there emotionally.

Among the roles grandparents play, some important ones linked with family memories include “stress buffer,” “family mentor,” “storyteller,” “teacher” and “family historian.” One of the most important things a grandparent can do is help grandchildren feel more connected to their families.

Passing on personal or family memories is an activity that has a variety of important and useful purposes. Some of the reasons to create and pass on family memories are to:

• Connect family generations
• Bestow a sense of identity
• Teach family values
• Offer an awareness of the past and its lessons
• Practice generativity – caring for the next generation

• Experience personal meaning and resolution in later years

  

   

Adler, E.S., and Hoffnung, M. (2018). Being Grandma and Grandpa: Grandparents share advice, insights and experiences. Grand Publications.

Brotherson, S.E. (2015, June). Passing on family memories (revised). Facilitators Guide, Family and Communication Education Club lesson materials. Fargo, N.D.: NDSU Extension Service.

DeHaan, L. (2006, revised). The influence of grandparents and stepgrandparents on grandchildren. Extension publication FS548. Fargo, N.D.: NDSU Extension Service.

Dunifon, R. (2013). The influence of grandparents on the lives of children and adolescents. Child Development Perspectives, 7(1), 55-60.

Johnson, S., Carlson, J., and Bower, E. (2010). Grandloving: Making memories with your grandchildren. Lancaster, Va.: Heartstrings Press.

Meyer, M.H., and Abdul-Malak, Y. (Eds.). (2017). Grandparenting in the United States (Society and Aging Series). New York: Routledge.

For more in The Art of Grandparenting series.