NDSU Extension - Mercer County


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Boundaries Class Being Offered in Beulah

Boundaries, Teens, Parenting, Setting Limits, Healthy Relationships

Submitted by Dena Kemmet, Extension Agent/Family and Consumer Sciences

Although they aren't really children anymore, teenagers lack the maturity to always make good decisions on their own. Firm guidance from parents is what teenagers require to successfully reach adulthood. Setting boundaries within a family is an essential part of parenting.

Teens need parents to be their greatest fan through their best and worst in life. Regardless of the situation, our sons and daughters need to know parents love them — unconditionally. And loving them means establishing boundaries.

Part of setting boundaries for teenagers is helping them learn to eventually set their own boundaries. Parents should discuss the reasons for the limits they put on their teen. Let your teen know some of the responsibilities that go with setting boundaries.

Boundaries include saying yes and no, just as doors are made to be opened and closed. Teens need the life lessons of success and failure to mature. When we open the door to appropriate levels of freedom, we give our teens a chance to make their own decisions, and to learn from them. Boundaries set for your teens should show them how things work in the adult world.

Parents should explore effective ways to use boundary-setting to avoid conflicts with teens, encourage responsibility and self-management, resolve problems, prevent pointless and frustrating, no-win power struggles, and establish a foundation of mutual trust, consideration and respect.

As we look at setting boundaries for teens, one of the first questions we need to ask ourselves is, “Who is in the driver's seat - the parent or the child?”

A Boundaries program has been developed by the NDSU Extension Service in partnership with the Beulah Ministerial Association and the Mercer County Youth Bureau.

Parent and student participants will:

  • Recognize why boundaries are important
  • Understand how boundaries reflect personal values
  • Identify negotiable and non-negotiable rules in their lives
  • Respectfully work through disagreements with authority figures

Boundaries exist in all areas of life! To help your teens be adequately prepared, join the Boundaries program from 6:30 to 8 p.m. at the Beulah High School each Monday evening beginning November 19. This session is being offered for parents and students in 7th through 12th grade. To register call the NDSU Extension office at 873-5195 or email dena.kemmet@ndsu.edu

This program will focus on how to set, express and maintain boundaries— which are an essential part of all healthy relationships.

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