What Adults Must Know
Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS) is a serious illness and a public health
crisis that demands attention. The number of people affected continues to increase. Since
reporting began in 1985, a total of 180 HIV infections and 54 AIDS cases have been
reported in North Dakota. Individuals who are in their 20s represent the largest age group
for HIV infections (39 percent), closely followed by those in their 30s (37 percent).
For years, many adults and young people have convinced themselves it could never happen
to them. Stories about famous people such as Magic Johnson and Tommy Morrison have created
an awareness that it can happen to anyone.
Some diseases can't be prevented, but AIDS is one we can prevent. It is
extremely important for parents, teachers, clergy and other adults in contact with youth
to provide honest, accurate information. One of the fastest growing populations of HIV
positive and AIDS victims is the teen and young adult category. While people are working
hard to assist our youth in abstaining from sexual activity, many choose to be sexually
active. These young people need the facts.
AIDS is the life-threatening disease caused by the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV).
The virus depresses the body's immune system, making it hard for the body to resist
bacteria and viruses that might cause disease. The infected person is at high risk of
diseases such as lung infection, pneumonia and cancer that result in death.
Knowing the facts about AIDS is necessary for individuals to choose healthy behaviors
and attitudes.
Ages 5 to 7
Children 5 and under have a difficult time understanding the difference between real
and imaginary, while children 5 to 7 are beginning to separate real from imaginary. They
learn best from experience. When confronted with a topic they do not know about or have
not experienced, they may respond by being fearful.
Children 5 to 7 have many fears, and the best way to help your child is to provide
reassurance and ask him or her to talk about fears. With AIDS receiving so much attention,
it's possible your child is asking questions or is too afraid to ask questions. A child 5
to 7 is probably not ready for all the details, but a simple explanation is important. An
example might be:
AIDS is a sickness caused by a certain type of germ called a virus. The virus is
carried in some people's blood and body fluids. You can't get AIDS from touching someone
or being around a person with AIDS like you can catch a cold from a friend. You can't get
AIDS from being in the same school as someone with AIDS. You can't get it from pets,
flowers, mosquitos, toilet seats, water glasses or hugs.
You may have heard that some children have AIDS. Some children may have been born with
it because their mothers had it, or some got AIDS from blood transfusions. Now there are
tests so donated blood with AIDS is not used and so people with AIDS can try to avoid
giving it to anyone else.
If you ever have questions or are afraid of anything else, please ask me. It helps to
talk about fears to find out if they're real or imaginary. If your fears are real,
it helps to learn what we can do to make concerns like AIDS less scary.
You are healthy, and I'm going to help you stay healthy by teaching you to make smart
choices.
Your children may ask questions you can't answer. That's OK. Don't be afraid to say
you're not sure about an answer, but explain you will find out.
Ages 8 to 10
Between ages 8 and 10, children's fears change. They used to be afraid of monsters and
other imaginary characters. Now they are more likely to be afraid that a real person might
hurt them.
At this age, they are beginning to understand cause and effect -- for example, climbing
in a tree might result in an injury. Most children 8 to 10 know death comes from an
injury, illness or accident. Most have lost a pet or family member, and by age 10 they
understand that all living things die.
While their understanding may increase, their fear doesn't necessarily decrease. They
may talk about fears less openly now, so it's important for an adult to look for an
opportunity to bring up topics that might be bothering them.
The media emphasis on AIDS might increase your child's fear level and provide one of
those "teachable moments." Children need to be encouraged to talk about their
feelings. Some fears just need to be talked about, such as a child telling you he or she
was embarrassed by an event. Some fears require action, such as a fear of not having
friends. You might need to ease this fear by getting your child involved in a
nonjudgmental group experience to learn some social skills and make a new friend.
There's hardly a child 8 to 10 who hasn't heard about AIDS. The media attention puts
parents in an awkward situation where there's a need to discuss AIDS but a basic
discussion about sex may be needed first. An example of what you could share with your
child about AIDS is:
AIDS is a sickness you can get from a certain virus. AIDS stands for Acquired
Immunodeficiency Syndrome. That's a fancy way of saying the army of cells that fight
sicknesses is not working. The virus destroys the cells needed to defend a person from
illness, so the person gets very sick.
When people find out this bad virus is in their bodies, they are said to be "HIV
positive." Eventually, the virus may turn into AIDS. AIDS refers to a whole set of
infections and diseases.
People are worried about AIDS because there's no cure for it. You can't get a shot to
prevent it like measles. AIDS will most likely cause that person to die.
You can get HIV from the blood of an infected person by sharing a needle for shooting
steroids or other drugs, and from sexual intercourse. The virus is in the fluids that come
out during sex such as semen and vaginal fluids.
You cannot get HIV from urine, feces, mosquitos or pets. You also cannot get
it from hugging, eating from the same plate or glass as an infected person, or being in
school with an infected person.
You should treat a child or adult with AIDS just as nicely as you would anyone else.
Many people used to think only gay people got AIDS. Being gay is another word for
homosexual which means boys are sexually attracted to boys and girls to girls. Being
heterosexual means a boy and a girl are sexually attracted to each other.
Today we know HIV can be passed in any sexual relationship. When people have sex
with people they don't know, they are more likely to get the virus. That's one of the
reasons why I don't want you to have sex until you are married or find the person you plan
to marry.
It is very important to make time to talk with children at this age. Your personal
values must be related to your child since this is the age values are learned. If you wait
until high school, it is often too late.
Good information taught in a secure environment such as the family is the best
protection you can give your children as they go out into the world. Tell them you love
them and want them to share their thoughts and feelings with you.
Ages 11 to 14
This age group varies in maturity level. You are the best judge of how much to say
about sexuality and AIDS, but don't avoid the topic because you already talked about it
once or gave your child a book. Pre-teens and teens need to hear your messages often. The
ironic situation is that most of these kids have very little fear. In fact, they've
entered the age where they usually believe, "It will never happen to me."
It can be very difficult to get them to realize this invincibility is not so. Magic
Johnson, a role model for some children, said AIDS can happen to anyone since he is
HIV positive. His announcement opened the eyes, ears and minds of young people and
provided an opportune moment for parents and other adults to convey a critical message.
The following information is an example of what can be shared with this age group:
AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. AIDS cripples the body's normal
ability to fight invading germs and infections. AIDS refers to a whole set of infections
and diseases. The Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) destroys the body's disease-fighting
cells. A lot of other viruses and germs can then attack people. There's no vaccine or
cure. AIDS is fatal.
You can get HIV by being involved in high-risk behaviors such as sexual intercourse
with an infected person. The virus is carried in semen and vaginal fluids. These fluids
come out during sex and are passed to the other person. You cannot destroy the virus by
washing after sex. You can wear a condom during sex to prevent the fluids from contacting
the other person; however, a condom is not foolproof. The only way to significantly reduce
your chance of getting AIDS is to avoid having sex -- abstaining. But if you do choose the
risky behavior of pre-marital sex, the safest decision is to wait until you are confident
your partner is monogamous (having sexual relationships only with you) and you decide this
is the person you plan to marry.
You can also get HIV by sharing needles for drugs, tattoos or ear piercing since it is
carried in the blood. Newborn babies can get the virus from their moms. It's very rare to
get it from blood transfusions since blood is now screened for the virus. However, a few
years ago blood was not tested as carefully and some people who are ill today contracted
the virus from a transfusion years ago.
The only way you can get HIV from kissing is if both partners have bleeding
sores or gums and an exchange of infected blood takes place. Remember that even brushing
teeth can bring blood to the surface.
There's also a very slight chance of getting the virus from a stranger who may be
injured or bleeding. With first aid, use a barrier such as gloves between you and the
bleeding victim, being careful not to get blood on yourself. Call a medical professional
quickly.
You cannot get HIV from being in casual contact with an infected person, hugging,
sitting next to an infected person, using plates or glasses of an infected person,
drinking from a water fountain, being coughed on, or swimming or wrestling with an
infected person. Experts know this because they have checked families where there is a
child who got the virus in a transfusion and none of the other family members got it.
Ages 15 to 18
Parents and concerned adults are often worried about the sexual decisions of 15- to
18-year-olds. It's important to understand that AIDS is not a "gay disease."
Homosexuals and heterosexuals can both be infected. Parents worry about AIDS and other
sexually-transmitted diseases as well as an unwanted pregnancy.
The 15- and 18-year-olds are under tremendous pressure to be sexually active from
media, peers, the individual with whom they are involved and maybe even their own hormones
or curiosity. One of the best prevention tools is your open and honest communication. In
addition to the information appropriate for 11- to 14-year-olds, these comments may be
helpful to older teens:
The best way to avoid getting HIV or any sexually-transmitted disease is to
avoid intercourse. I prefer that you have no intercourse before marriage. It is safest to
abstain until you find the person you plan to marry and you are confident of his or her
past. I want you to enjoy sex in a loving relationship, and I don't want you to take
chances that can expose you to HIV or an unwanted pregnancy.
When you care about someone, you may feel a lot of pressure to do what he or she wants
you to do. But think about it -- If someone really cares, would they want you to risk your
future? Or, are they only interested in meeting their own needs? It's hard to say no --
but it's harder to deal with pregnancy or disease. Young people are the fastest-growing
population of people with sexually-transmitted disease today.
The problem with intercourse at an early age is that rarely do you end up
marrying this person. The more partners you are exposed to, the more likely you are to
contract a STD such as AIDS. The effect is as if you are having sex not just with one
person but with all the people that person has ever had sex with before.
It is your responsibility to abstain from sex or ask the sensitive but important
questions about past sex and drug experiences. If you know someone well enough to have
sex, you should be able to talk about AIDS. If someone is unwilling to talk, you should
not have sex. If you think someone might be lying about being infected, don't have sex.
Love and sex are not the same thing.
If you do decide to become sexually active, condoms can reduce the risk but are not 100
percent effective.
The best way to avoid HIV and AIDS is to refrain from the high-risk factors. I hope you
will be able to talk to me if you have questions. I will always love you no matter what,
and I want you to make healthy decisions now so your future will be healthy, too.
