NEWSWORTHY NOTES
Gayle
Gette, Extension/FNP Agent
For release
September 24, 2004
Towner County
| What kids need to know about bullies |  |
If
your child starts stalling when it�s time to go to school, one reason may be a
playground or bus stop bully.
Living
in a society where wealth and power are admired, film heroes regularly beat up
and kill others, and the weak and sick are often despised, it is no surprise
that some children have learned to imitate these values. Research has shown that although bullies tend to have
difficulty making friends, they do gain a certain level of popularity and peer
status for their actions. It is
possible that bullies may be enjoying more respect and admiration from their
peers, and bullying behavior, especially among boys, can often be considered
normal behavior.
Being
a victim is very stressful for children. Many
children develop a strong dislike of going to school, especially times like
recess or gym class. Many victims
begin to distrust all their peers at school and have problems making friends.
Extreme victims can develop depression or physical illness.
For kids who are being harassed,
here�s some advice from the Parenting Press News for Parents, copyright
2004:
�
You don�t deserve this.
Kids who are bullied tend to think they�re being picked on because there�s
something wrong with them. This is absolutely not true. People who bully are
looking for any available target. You just happen to be that person, and when it
isn�t you, it�s going to be someone else.
�
You don�t have to be just like everyone else.
Too many kids believe the only way to be popular is to dress, talk, eat, act,
and look like everyone else. Well, they�ve got it backward. The most
interesting people are the ones who don�t fit into any particular mold. So
don�t let kids tell you that there�s something wrong with you because
you�re not like them.
Recommendations
also include that children prepare themselves for bullying so they can be
strong�and smart�when it occurs. Some of the tips you�ll want to share
with your children:
�
Strength in numbers.
Bullies often target children who are alone. Find kids to hang out with, so
you�re less likely to be approached by a bully.
�
Be assertive when someone does try to bully you.
For example:
1.
Don�t talk to me that way. Do you understand?
2.
I totally disagree.
3.
I�m not going to listen to this stuff.
4.
I�m not going to take this.
5.
It seems like you�re enjoying trying to make me feel bad, but it�s
not working.
6.
Stop it.
�
Keep your voice firm and strong. You
want your tone of voice to communicate that you�re in control (even if you
don�t feel that way inside). The more you practice and use an assertive voice,
the more in charge you�ll feel.
�
Maintain eye contact. It�s
important to look directly at the person when you speak. Looking down or away
reduces the power of your words.
�
Stand up straight. Keep your chin high and your
shoulders square. This says, �I�m strong. I�m confident.�
�
Breathe deeply. When you�re frightened or
nervous, your breathing becomes shallow�and that makes you even more
frightened or nervous. The more you use deep breathing, the more calm and in
control you�ll feel when you face the person who�s been picking on you.
�
Rehearse what you can say or do.
For
more information on the research behind bullying behaviors, ask for bulletin
FS-570 �Bullies� at the Towner County NDSU Extension Office.
-end-
