NEWSWORTHY NOTES                                        Gayle Gette, Extension/FNP Agent
For release August 20, 2004                                      Towner County

Preparing for Parenthood

      It has been suggested that parenting is the hardest job any person will ever have, and seems to be the job we are often the least prepared to begin. The birth of a child offers parents a whole new experience in love that can be deep and powerful, children often help create a new sense of family connection between family members, and having a child may help new parents understand their own parents� love and perspectives. In addition, there can be changes  which require you to assume more of the responsibilities of adulthood.  These might include being financially responsible, providing direct care for your child, changing some of your social involvement and balancing parenting and work demands.

�        Your anxiety about parenting reflects how you will manage a child�s distress.  Children need to feel a parent�s patience and personal confidence.  See yourself as a parent and develop your skills.

�       Learn about child development so you can approach parenting your child with positive and realistic expectations.

�        Parenting becomes difficult when you are focused on the negatives.  Develop a positive approach toward raising a child and look for positive things to appreciate each day.

�        Develop practices that will carry over to your interaction with your child, such as playing music, singing softly or speaking to your child.

�        A marital relationship is often a key parental support system.  If you�re married, focus on having a mutually positive relationship with your partner and decrease any hostility.

�        Consider your own past experiences, and take advantage of opportunities to learn positive ways of interaction if you had negative experiences such as mistreatment or abuse.

�        Read available materials on preparing for parenthood or caring for a newborn child.

�        Increase your social support network that can help you as a new parent, with spouse, parents, relatives, friends, etc.  Learn who you can look to for help and understanding and advice.

�        Depression can make you prone to having challenges as a parent.  If prone to depression, seek appropriate medical assistance and get social support for dealing with challenges.

Taking the time to understand the changes that occur in your life with becoming a parent and how to prepare yourself for parenthood can ease the stresses that come with being a parent.  As with any journey, knowing where you�d like to end up and how you�d like to perform in your new role as a parent will help to determine the route you take and the preparations you make to succeed. 
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Newsworthy Notes