Peggy R. Anderson

Extension Agent

September 8, 2010

Parenting Resources Just a Phone Call Away

The Burke & Divide County Extension Service is now offering parent education materials for checkout to are parents and professionals. Multi-media kits are available on the following topics – Divorce, Toilet Training, Anger in Children, ADD/ADHD, Sleep Issues (Infant through Teen), and Ex Education/Body Safety. Kits contain a variety of topic-specific books, videos, audio-materials and handouts geared towards children and adults.

To check on the availability, contact the Burke County Extension Office at 377-2927 or the Divide County Extension Office at 965-6501

Resist the Temptation to Over Schedule Your Child

Source: The Illinois Extension Service

Ready or not, the new school year is here, and with it comes the opportunity for children to get involved in countless activities. Parents should keep in mind that too many activities can create stress and exhaustion for children, said Angela Wiley, a University of Illinois Extension family life specialist and associate professor of human and community development.

"Volleyball practice daily after school, games in the evenings and tournaments on weekends, church youth group on Wednesday, tryouts for the fall musical with upcoming rehearsals waiting to be penciled in--and that's just one of my kids," is a refrain that Wiley hears often.

"There's no doubt that activities can enrich children's lives and expose them to more possibilities for future success. But kids can be stretched too thin. Over the last 20 years or so, children's physical and emotional difficulties associated with stress, depression, and anxiety have risen notably," she said.

Overscheduled children don't have the time to simply be children, and family time--the glue that binds separate family members together--decreases as more activities are added to an already full plate, she said.

"Parents suffer too as they balance heavy job demands, inflexible work schedules, and shuttling and organizing overscheduled kids," she said.

In his book The Intentional Family, William Doherty argues that parents must remember that their children's best interests are not served by a crazy schedule that threatens family togetherness and time for play and relaxation. He suggests creating a family activity plan based on children's interests as well as parent time and energy, she said.

Here's what you can do:

·         Carefully consider the value of sports. Like adults, American children desperately need exercise. However, over-involvement and intense competition can be unnecessary stressors for children. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that kids should not focus on a single sport until they reach adolescence, and then they should be carefully monitored for signs of obsession or stress.

·         Encourage some "nothing" time. Many experts recommend limiting children to two enriching activities at any one time. Kids and their parents also need down time--time that's open for relaxation, thinking, and talking. This time works best when there's no distraction from the television, computer, or telephone.

·         Protect family time. Some parents set aside dinnertimes as non-negotiable family time. For families with older children, this often means a nutritious snack and a late dinner. For other families, a family game night or a weekend afternoon is a better alternative. It's too easy to let family time slip away without even noticing it. Rituals such as mealtimes and weekend and holiday traditions create predictability and a sense of family connection. They also give parents an opportunity to teach what's important to them.

·         Teach children problem-solving skills. For example, parents can practice with their teenager different ways to respond to a coach who wants to set an extra workout on Sunday afternoons during family time. (Of course, the parent may need to speak with the coach at some point too.) When you help children learn to problem solve about stressful events or situations, you give them valuable tools for the future. Stress is a normal part of every stage of life.

·         Take time to create a family plan. Reviewing the family schedule each week with daily reminders can reduce stress and chaos by orienting everyone about places and times. Some families find it useful to use a few minutes to talk about scheduling during breakfast or dinner

Schedule

Wednesday, September 8 – 4-H Training at Western 4-H Camp

Thursday, September 9 – Divide County

Friday, September 10 – Burke County

Monday, September 13 – Burke County

Tuesday, September 14 – Divide County