Peggy R. Anderson

Extension Agent

December 9, 2009

Make Family Holidays Teen Friendly

A teen's expectations for a family holiday can be vastly different than his or her parents’ expectations, but parents who are willing to be flexible -- and compromise -- can help to level some of the bumps in the road, said Elaine Johannes, Kansas State University Research and Extension youth development specialist.

Most teens want to be part of family traditions, but may also want to be with their friends. It’s not unusual for teens to consider the holidays irrelevant to their current time of life, said Johannes, who urges parents to consider how the world has changed since they were teens.

Though the world is vastly different from when most parents were teens, today's teens are still faced with the developmental task of figuring out who they are and how and where they can fit in, said Johannes, who is based in the School of Family Studies and Human Services at K-State.

"Teens want to fit in, but they also want to be unique and special, much like a “star” in their own personal fable,” said Johannes, who encourages parents to try to balance their family's expectations when it comes to holiday traditions with respect for where their children are developmentally.

Saying that isn't the same as saying parents shouldn't have those expectations for their children, said Johannes, who offered tips for families during holiday gatherings:

• Organize a casual family meeting, over brunch or a pizza, and ask family members to choose which family traditions they most enjoy and would like to keep this year.

• Plan dinner, but plan it when the game is over. Be up front about who will attend, and what the expectations are, such as turning off the television and cell phones, and no texting.

• Take time to talk to each other and enjoy the food, but realize that teens may want to skip dessert in favor of time with their friends.

• Encourage teens to invite a friend for a holiday gathering, family outing or game night.

• Think about ways to separate before coming back together.

• Plan downtime, when family members can be apart from each other, to allow everyone to rest and look forward with renewed interest.

• Be respectful; families can engage without being joined at the hip.

"Teens, and children of any age, for that matter, model adult behaviors and the environment," said Johannes, who urged parents and teens to be flexible, willing to compromise and patient.

Check Out this Award Winning Health and Fitness Website!

University of Minnesota Extension health and nutrition educators have developed an award-winning online educational kit that helps today’s busy families get healthy and fit. Finding time and energy to exercise and cook nutritious foods is a challenge for families who feel overwhelmed or hindered by financial strains and stress.

The resources developed are useful for any family or individual. “Healthy & Fit on the Go” is available on the Extension website at http://www.extension.umn.edu/Health/healthy-fit-go.html.

“Healthy & Fit on the Go” features easy-to-use resources that will aid and motivate families. Topics include:

• Healthy decision making
• Planning meals on the go
• Eating on the road
• Water and other beverages
• Nearly free family fun
• Exercises that work in the car
• Resistance bands
• Balance balls
• Pedometers

The Extension team won the 2009 Minnesota Educational Publications Communications Award, presented at the Minnesota Extension Association for Family and Consumer Sciences conference on Oct. 6 in St. Paul.

Schedule:

Wednesday, December 9 – Burke County

Thursday, December 10 – Divide County

Friday, December 11 – Burke County

Monday, December 14 – Burke County

Tuesday, December 15 – Divide County